Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Today, I’m excited to share one of my early dabbles with digital art. When I first delved into digital art, I had a blast experimenting with colors and the bloom feature of Procreate, which you can probably see reflected in the vibrant hues of the pot of gold and mushrooms.
As for the content of this blog post, it’s a bit of a mixed bag – a glimpse into my day and the thoughts swirling around in my mind. Just last year, I stumbled upon a four-leaf clover, a symbol of good luck, but now it seems to have vanished into thin air. Nonetheless, I remain hopeful that it will resurface when the time is right. However, I won’t be actively searching for it because I believe it’s not lost at all – it’s safely tucked away in the recesses of my mind, patiently waiting to be rediscovered.
Today, I’m pausing to reflect on the past three months of 2024. I’ve noticed a shift towards a more positive outlook, and I’ve learned to release unnecessary stressors that once burdened me. Back in January, I began sessions with an online therapist. Sometimes, you just need an unbiased perspective from someone who isn’t there to dictate what you should do but rather offer validation and insights. This therapeutic journey has emphasized the importance of embracing new perspectives, easing life’s complexities, and fostering smoother transitions.
Many of my struggles stemmed from a relentless need to control every aspect of my life. Yet, I’m still on the learning curve, consistently reminding myself that life’s unpredictability renders rigid expectations futile. It’s about adapting, reevaluating priorities, and acknowledging personal accomplishments. Why this perpetual hunger for more and relentless optimization? Can’t we pause to appreciate how far we’ve come, celebrating our journey rather than obsessing over destination milestones?
Instead of fixating on the unknown, I’m redirecting my energy towards pursuits that ignite passion and inspire growth, free from the shackles of obligation. I’m reconnecting with childhood passions, understanding the essence of why I pursued certain activities. It’s about tapping into authenticity, nurturing genuine interests without burdening them with expectations.
While I reflected on this very struggle years ago, it’s a lesson I find myself revisiting, especially when I recognize my potential in new creative endeavors. But it’s that very glimpse of potential that often derails me. I place immense pressure on myself to achieve it, only to burn out in the process. I constantly remind myself that what truly matters is the present moment, being fully immersed in the act itself.
When I was younger, I found joy in the simplicity of sketching. I did it purely for the pleasure it brought, without any aspirations or goals in mind. While I naturally aspire to improve in sketching, painting, and digital art, I believe that in the realm of art, one must detach oneself from past achievements or future aspirations.
Obviously, I want to improve in those areas, and I will, but consistency is key. However, there’s a distinction between consistency and setting unrealistic expectations. Lately, I’ve been prioritizing habit-building—the practice of engaging in an activity regardless of my mood until the motivation naturally follows. I’ve adopted a strategy of setting small, achievable goals for habit-building. Listening to Stephen King’s audiobook, “On Writing,” has been incredibly inspiring. It has not only enriched my writing but also encouraged me to remain consistent and inspired in all my creative pursuits.
I’ve been immersing myself in online art classes, gradually refining my skills day by day. Additionally, I’m revisiting my book, “The Lucid Traveler,” making fresh edits, and incorporating artwork to enrich the reader’s experience. Despite releasing it without professional editing assistance initially, I’ve upheld a high standard. Nevertheless, I acknowledge that there’s always room for improvement.
Between working on the rewrites for my book and the art classes, I was longing to go outside and get some sunshine and fresh air. I was starting to feel like a vampire. I was quite surprised to find that today was quite the scorcher, considering the cool days we had earlier this week. The day’s heat left me feeling drowsy to the point I was so tempted to break my one-cup-a-day rule on Sundays through Thursdays. I wanted that second cup so badly though!
Having said that, I’ve been striving to strike a balance between indulgence and moderation. So now, I limit my coffee intake to one cup, except for Fridays and Saturdays, when I treat myself to two cups. Since I don’t drink alcohol, I consider coffee my indulgence on those days. However, today being Sunday, I had to forgo that second cup. It’s fine to have two cups on Fridays and Saturdays because I typically stay up late watching movies with my family. But on Sundays, having that second cup is risky, especially with Monday looming ahead. I was surprised to learn that coffee has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. This means that if I have that second cup after noon, as I usually do, I’ll end up with restless sleep. So, I’ve established this standard to ensure I get better sleep and feel more rested as a result. Sleep is the fountain of youth and my lucid dream playground, so I treasure it!
On a less pleasant note, I’ve been grappling with a pesky tooth sensitivity issue, prompting a dreaded trip to the dentist next week. Anything hot or cold is incredibly uncomfortable on the left side of my mouth where that seemingly perfect tooth is. It feels like a brain freeze, but on my tooth rather than in my head. I’m hoping for a resolution next week, and I don’t want to see another dentist for months!
On that note, I’ve become skeptical of dentists. It seems as though every dentist is an infomercial, especially online. Their websites are all about getting you into their office with deals. This one dentist I considered switching to had a website where every 5 seconds you’d get a pop up that would tell you to schedule an appointment. That was enough to turn me off from ever going there, despite their convenient location. I couldn’t even read the content on their website. Like, what the hell? Are these dentists money-hungry or am I becoming more jaded?
I just can’t wrap my head around what happened with the last filling. Was a cheap filling used, or is this young dentist simply not experienced enough? He looks like he just graduated from high school. Last week, I lost a night of sleep over this. I was so stressed out. Visiting a dentist involves sitting at the mercy of someone as they inject you with numbing agents and perform procedures on your teeth and gums, often without you being able to feel what they’re doing. It’s a sobering realization that our teeth, essentially bones, are susceptible to cracking and enduring permanent damage during these procedures. This has left me with trust issues when it comes to dentists.
In addition to searching the internet for a new dentist, I also took the time to study my insurance coverage and realized that part of my dissatisfaction and lack of trust was also financially based and stems from my lack of knowledge. I still think dental offices could work on being more transparent with their patients. This realization led me to give my current dentist another shot and has also motivated me to become more assertive. There’s more to the story, such as the fact that the new dentist I’m seeing is the young son of the dentist I use to see – his mom. Her son is super young, which makes me question his experience, but he also sounds extremely knowledgeable and makes me feel comfortable during the fillings. So I decided to give him another shot. It also has to do with the fact that their dental office is rated as one of the best in my city. So yeah, I guess I’m staying for now. Wish me luck.
On that note, I recently got an electric toothbrush. I honestly don’t like it. It feels too easy, and the vibrations are intense and scary. I like the manual one, so I take turns with electric and manual. Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood for all the bells and whistles. So based on this ramble, the dental stuff has been on my mind a lot. Lucky for me, I have not had one of those falling teeth dreams in a while. Oh snap, I shouldn’t have said that. My subconscious has now prepared one for me.
Amidst the daily grind, I’m gearing up to celebrate my son’s milestone birthday – the dawn of his twenties. It’s a striking reminder of how fast time flies and the importance of cherishing every moment. I can say something cliche like, “Just yesterday I remember being in my twenties”, so I’ll say it. It felt like time flew by. I think this has to do with the fact that the transition between your twenties and thirties involves a lot of different milestones and transitions, but once you reach your mid-thirties, life seems to settle down. You become more established, which makes life feel like it’s going by slower. Do you feel this way too?
In closing, I leave you with some inner thoughts. I remember when I was in my late teens and twenties, I felt like the world revolved around me. Seems kind of self-centered, I know. But think back to that age, most of us feel like life is happening to us rather than life is happening. Now reflecting back, I think to myself, just because the world doesn’t revolve around you doesn’t mean you don’t make the world go round. Just like the invisible wind that makes an impact, our impact is felt through the ripples we create.
Speaking of the wind, I’ve often contemplated its invisibility and its tangible effects on the physical world. This contemplation prompts me to consider the potential existence of other unseen forces, awaiting revelation under the right circumstances or through appropriate means of observation.
Here’s to a week brimming with luck, laughter, and the quiet solace found amidst life’s enigmatic mysteries. And remember – sometimes, you have to make your own luck!
